By Gloria Pitzer, as seen in her syndicated1 column… “No Laughing Matter” (Circa 1970s).

I just finished reading a brand-new book called Crafts For Everyone – For Your Family And Friends, by Carol Duvall, and believe me, my life will never be the same again.

I was so impressed by Carol’s book on turning useless household junk into beautiful household junk that I immediately organized my friends into a locally chartered group known now as THE KNIT WITS!

All of you have had the urge to become creative at some time or another, and even if you haven’t you will once you read Carol’s book. If you’re the kind of person who always wanted to stuff felt aardvarks with shredded wheat and decoupage your teenager to the refrigerator door with 20 coats of Hi-C fruit drink then Carol’s book is for you!

I’ve spent so much time making pill bottles into jewelry and covering paperclips with contact paper, I’ve had a load of laundry sitting in pre-soak for three months. Nobody would have minded except that I should have put it into the washing machine first, but that was full of brown paper bags!

What sold me on Carol’s book was her dedication. It reads: ‘To Frannie, who makes birds from washing machine lint…’ Now there’s a person I can identify with – strange. Frannie! That’s what you are!

I’ve heard of spraying cobwebs silver and trying to pass them off as drapery valances to company who wouldn’t understand that you hate to dust, but who has ever thought of putting a ruffle on an oil can and putting bath oil in it? Genius! That’s what it is! Pure genius!

Unless you already know how to turn an old tea strainer into a sachet holder, then Carol’s book is for you, too. But first, a few words of warning because the urge to become increasingly creative has a way of enveloping some of us beyond reasonable limits.

You must know when you have gone too far and here are a few guidelines to alert you to over doing creative involvement. You have gone too far when you find yourself sowing sequins on your husband’s bowling shirts.

You have overdone it when you have created ‘free-form’ doorstops out of your mother-in-law and spray-painted your preschooler and turned him into a festive wall hanging! You have gone too far when you begin to crochet Crispy Critters into an Afghan for the sofa and weaving argyle slipcovers for your washing machine.

You have gone too far when you have a mad urge to convert a moldy gym shoe into a hearth planter and you can’t look at Silly Putty without wanting to create dashboard figurines. You’re, furthermore, beyond all help when you can dab Elmer’s Glue-All behind your earlobes instead of vanilla and want to weave Wonder Bread wrappers into ‘shrinks’ for Barbie dolls.

Take it from one who knows! Being terribly creative can be intoxicating to the spirit, but fortunately I can handle it! In fact, I’ve just called an emergency session of our Knit Wits Club for 3 o’clock this afternoon because one of our members, poor Mary Ann, has been without a car for two months.

We’ve decided to knit her one out of steel wool. (I’ll send you the directions, Carol. You may wish to include this novel idea in your next book! It sure beats birds out of washing machine lint, anyhow!)


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By TheRecipeDetective

Hi! I'm Laura Emerich and Gloria Pitzer, the ORIGINAL Secret Recipe Detective, is my mom. This website is lovingly dedicated to her memory and legacy.

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