Hopeless Twinkles – an Imitation of Hostess Twinkies

‘Hopeless Twinkles’ recipe developed by Gloria Pitzer

HOPELESS TWINKLES

By Gloria Pitzer (Feb. 1976, among Gloria’s “Original 200” recipes)

Filling Ingredients:

¼ pound (1/2 cup) butter or margarine,

½ cup Crisco or homogenized solid shortening,

1 cup granulated sugar,

¾ cup Pet or Carnation evaporated milk

1 tablespoon vanilla

Filling Instructions:

In a large mixing bowl, cream the butter for 5 minutes on medium speed. Add Crisco a little at a time. Cream another 3 or 4 minutes. Add sugar a little at a time while continuing to beat. Then add the milk (mixed, first, with the vanilla), beating and scraping the sides and bottom of the bowl. The longer you beat this, the better it becomes – but food processor preparations are also possible – timing depends on manufacturer’s directions for “creaming”. Mixture will “grow” in the bowl. Keeps refrigerated in covered container up to a month. Use as directed below with the cake “strips” for TWINKLES. Should fill about 2 dozen.

THE YELLOW-SPONGE-LIKE CAKE that I use is the same recipe that I suggest using for imitating at home the cake product from the company ‘nobody doesn’t like’ – who shall remain nameless – YOU can say it out loud… but I can’t!

Cake Ingredients:

3 large eggs

1 ½ teaspoons vanilla

1 cup whole milk

½ cup butter

1 ½ cups sugar

1 teaspoon salt

3 ½ teaspoons baking powder

2 cups all-purpose flour

Cake Instructions:

As listed, beat the ingredients in large mixing bowl on medium speed, beating 1 minute with each addition. Pour batter into 2 square, 8-inch, greased cake pans or Pyrex baking dishes (or a 13 x 9 x 2” pan.) Bake in preheated, 350°F oven for 30 to 35 minutes – for the 2 square pans – both pans in the oven at same time. For the oblong pan, bake 40 to 45 minutes or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool cake in pan on wire rack. Best to use the cake when it is slightly frozen – about 30 minutes in the freezer. Cut cake into bars – 1.5 x 3.5”. Put bottom-side of each bar facing up on waxed paper. Spread bottom halves with the Twinkle Filling and put together with an un-frosted bar – sandwich style. Wrap in small plastic sandwich bags or snack-size bags. Seal and date. Freeze up to one year – or refrigerate up to 2 weeks. Makes about 24 cream-filled cakes.

Fudge, like Disneyland’s and Disney World’s

Disneyland/World-Style Fudge

By Gloria Pitzer (1996-1997 “Free Sample Recipes” sheet)

Ingredients:

1/4 cup milk

1/4-lb. butter

1/3 cup Hershey’s Cocoa powder

1-lb. powdered sugar

Instructions:

Place ingredients, in order as listed, in a 1 1/2-quart Pyrex bowl, but do NOT stir.

Put the bowl, as is, in a 350°F oven for 25 minutes.

Remove from oven and, immediately, beat with hand-mixer on high speed for 3-5 minutes, until absolutely smooth.

Pour into a greased, 8-inch square pan and refrigerate until firm. Then cut into 1-inch squares. Makes 64 pieces.

NOTE: Do NOT double this recipe! Make two bowls, using same oven time. After beating each bowl smooth, pour them, both, into a greased 9-inch loaf pan. Chill until firm, then slice.

Hot Dog & Bacon BBQ

Aunt Hazel’s Hot Dog & Bacon BBQ

[From Gloria Pitzer’s 2002-2004 free recipes, media promotion sheet.]

Ingredients:

1-pound Ball Park franks, each frank sliced in quarters

1-pound bacon, sliced in half

1 small box of round, wood toothpicks

1 cup each: ketchup and sugar

Instructions:

Cut each of the franks into 4 pieces of equal length. Cut each strip of bacon into 3 pieces of equal length. Wrap one piece of bacon around one piece of frank, securing with a toothpick and repeating until all the frank pieces have been wrapped in the bacon pieces.

Arrange all the wrapped and secured pieces in a single layer in a shallow baking pan. Bake at 400°F for 10-15 minutes, until bacon is “wiggly”. Remove partially-cooked pieces from pan and place in a slow cooker so that they fill it half-full.

Combine equal parts ketchup and sugar until you have enough mixture to keep the pieces submerged – I use 1 cup of each. Cover with a snug-fitting lid and turn it on high for 1 hour and then on low for 2 hours, or until ready to serve.

The toothpicks become nice little handles for picking them up and the heating process does not affect the wood, nor does the wood affect the sauce. Makes 8 to 10 appetizer-sized (4 to 5 pieces) servings. Leftovers, if any, can be refrigerated up to a week.

Share-a-Lease Cheesecake

SHARE-A-LEASE CHEESECAKE

By Gloria Pitzer

[This recipe was part of Gloria’s original 200 recipes collection, from the early 1970s, and has been printed in many of her self published cookbooks; the first one being The Secret Restaurant Recipes Book (National Homemaker’s Newsletter, Pearl Beach, MI; Jan. 1977, p. 32), which is no longer in print, and the last one is Gloria Pitzer’s Cookbook – The Best of the Recipe Detective (Balboa Press; Jan. 2018, p. 247)]

   The crust:

Preheat oven to 350°F. Put ¼ pound butter or margarine in a 9-inch, square pan and into the preheating oven until butter melts. Meanwhile, put a 10-ounce package Lorna Doone Sugar Cookies (or plain sugar cookies) through a blender until fine crumbs. Combine crumbs with 1 envelope unflavored, gelatin powder and ¼ cup sugar. Add ½ teaspoon cinnamon if you wish. Mix it well.

Remove pan containing butter from oven as soon as it is completely melted. Mix in crumb mixture, reserving ¼ cup of this and setting it aside to use over filling later, and stir to blend thoroughly. Pat remaining crumb mixture evenly and firmly over bottom of pan. Return to oven to bake exactly 8 minutes – which gives you just enough time to prepare the filling (below.)

   The filling:

Mix the following until light and fluffy: 2 large packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese, one 8-ounce carton dairy sour cream, 2 tablespoons butter or margarine, 2 tablespoons cornstarch, 2 large eggs, 1 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla. Beat with electric mixer on medium speed.

As soon as crust is baked, just slip rack out far enough, without even removing the pan from the oven, so that you can pour filling into hot crust. Sprinkle top of filling lightly with the reserved ¼ cup crumb mixture. Return to oven to bake for 30 to 35 minutes or until you can insert the blade of a table knife into the filling, 1 inch from the edge of pan, and it comes out clean. Cool about 30 minutes before cutting to serve – OR chill it thoroughly and serve it quite cold with whipped cream or Cool Whip topping to garnish. Makes 8 servings.

Wednesday’s Frosted Drink

Illustration by Gloria Pitzer

WEDNESDAY’S FROSTED DRINK

By Gloria Pitzer

[This recipe was originally printed in Gloria Pitzer’s Better Cookery Cookbook(Secret RecipesTM, St. Clair, MI; May 1983, p. 329)]

Ingredients:

1 cup milk

½ cup Nestlé’s quick chocolate drink powder

3 cups slightly soft vanilla ice cream

Instructions:

Put ingredients in blender, using on/off agitation and blending until smooth. Stop motor occasionally to scrape mixture away from blades and repeat blending until creamy. Makes one serving.

MILD SALSA, INSPIRED BY CHI CHI’S

MILD SALSA, INSPIRED BY CHI CHI’S

– By Gloria Pitzer, The Best of Gloria Pitzer’s Better Cookery Cookbook (Secret RecipesTM, St. Clair, MI; Feb. 1990, p. 45)

Ingredients:

4 medium tomatoes, unpeeled & chopped

3 medium onions, chopped fine

2 fresh banana peppers, chopped

2 TB oil

½ cup lime juice

½ cup V-8 juice

Instructions:

Combine all ingredients and refrigerate in a tightly covered container for at least 4 hours to allow the flavors to blend, before serving with corn [or tortilla] chips or as a sauce for tacos or burritos. Serve hot or cold. Makes about one quart. [You can also spice this up with your favorite hot sauce!]

Orange Brutus

Orange Brutus

By Gloria Pitzer – part of her “Original 200” recipes collection.

This particular version can be seen in her last cookbook, Gloria Pitzer’s Cookbook – The Best of the Recipe Detective (Balboa Press, Jan. 2018)…as always, asking only for proper credit if you care to share it!

Remember, Brutus is the fella who ‘did in’ Julius! The 3 original versions of this frozen orange concoction were first printed on page 52 of Gloria’s Secret Fast-Food Recipes (1977) cookbook. This is the way it used to taste, like an orange Creamsicle, when it was first introduced in the 1920s. Today it’s a little different, and easier to recreate at home!

Ingredients:

3 cups orange juice

1 envelope Dream Whip powder

1/2 tsp vanilla

3 1/2-oz box instant vanilla pudding powder

3 additional cups of orange juice

Instructions:

Combine ingredients in blender until smooth. Pour into a pitcher and add 3 more cups of orange juice. Serve over cracked ice for 6 lovely drinks!

 

Self-Rising Flour (Homemade)

Self-Rising Flour (By the Cupful)

By Gloria Pitzer, one of her original “200” recipes (1972)

Sift together: 1 cup all-purpose flour, 1/4 tsp salt and 3/4 tsp baking powder.

Alternate version #1 (as seen with “Banana Bread, Like The Grand Hotel’s“):

1 ¾ cup all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1 teaspoon baking soda and 1 teaspoon salt.

Alternate version #2 (as seen in Gloria Pitzer’s Cookbook – The Best of the Recipe Detective (Balboa Press, January 2018):

Sift together 3 c. flour, 3 TB baking powder and 1 tsp. salt. Store in covered container, in a cool dry place. Makes approximately 3 ¼ cups.

Banana Bread, like Mackinac Island’s Grand Hotel

BANANA BREAD – Like The Grand Hotel, Mackinac Island (MI)

Developed by Laura Pitzer (Emerich), 1979; published by Gloria Pitzer in her cookbook, Gloria Pitzer’s Better Cookery Cookbook (Secret Recipes, St. Clair, MI; 1982, p. 238)

On the lavish, luncheon, smorgasbord tables of the Grand Hotel, where we were staying during the filming of “Somewhere in Time’ [1979], were a variety of sweet breads, as well as finger sandwiches prepared on quick breads. One of their sandwich ideas was softened cream cheese – possibly whipped with a little sour cream – on a wonderful banana nut bread. When we returned home from that vacation, our daughter, Laura, came up with a version of their bread which became one of our favorite recipes. – Gloria Pitzer

Ingredients:

1/3 cup butter or margarine

½ cup sugar

2 eggs

2 cups self-rising flour (SEE NOTE BELOW!)

1 cup each: ripe, mashed bananas (2 to 3 medium-sized) and chopped walnuts

Instructions:

Cream butter and sugar on medium speed of electric mixer until light and fluffy (about 5 minutes – set your timer!) Add the eggs and beat another 2 minutes. Beat in half of the flour and all the bananas for 2 minutes. Beat in remaining flour for 1 minute. Stir in nuts with a spoon. Pour into greased and floured, 9-inch bread-loaf pan. Bake at 350°F for 45 minutes or until it tests “done” with a toothpick. Cool several hours before slicing. Makes 1 loaf.

NOTE: If you don’t have self-rising flour, then substitute with – 1 ¾ cup all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, 1 teaspoon baking soda and 1 teaspoon salt. The best results, I have found, is when I stir the ½ teaspoon baking soda into the mashed bananas, combining the remaining ingredients and adding that much as directed in the recipe above.

Archer Teacher Fish & Chips, plus Onion Rings option

Archer Teacher Fish & Chips, plus Onion Rings option

By Gloria Pitzer, first published in The Secret Restaurant Recipes Book (National Homemaker’s Newsletter, Pearl Beach, MI; Jan. 1977, p. 1)

Arthur Treacher was once Merv Griffin’s right-hand-man. A dignified and accomplished actor that we best remember from the 1930s & 1940s.

Ingredients:

3 cups boxed pancake mix

3-4 cups club soda

0.4-oz. pkg. ranch dressing mix powder

2-3 lbs. fish fillets (any good frying-type)

Instructions:

With wire whisk, combine the pancake mix and enough of the club soda so that the batter is the consistency of buttermilk – pourable! Whisk in the ranch dressing mix.

Dip the fillets into just enough plain, all-purpose flour to coat them lightly but evenly. Let coated fillets dry a few minutes on wax paper. Dip coated fillets into wet batter to coat lightly but evenly, letting excess batter drip back into bowl.

Using a heavy sauce pan or electric fryer, fry a few pieces at a time in 3-inch deep oil heated to 385F degrees. Turn the pieces once to brown each side (at about 2-3 minutes per side).

Remove from hot oil, using the tip of a sharp knife. Do NOT use tongs as it may cause coating to break and fall off. Keep pieces warm on a cookie sheet or in a roasting pan in a warm oven until all pieces have been fried. Serves 4-6.

ONION RINGS OPTION: (what to do with extra, left-over batter, as it does not keep well…)

Cut 3 firm white onions, each about the size of an orange., into 1/4-inch thick slices and separate into rings. Run these under cold tap water in a colander and let excess water drain off.

As with the fish (above), dip the rings into just enough plain, all-purpose flour to coat them lightly but evenly and let them dry for a few minutes on wax paper. One at a time, dip coated rings into the wet fish batter (above) to coat lightly but evenly, letting excess batter drip back into bowl. Then, drop each ring into 2-inch deep oil heated to 385F degrees. Turn the pieces once to brown each side (at about 2-3 minutes per side or until golden brown and crispy).

Remove from hot oil, using the tip of a sharp knife. Do NOT use tongs as it may cause the coating to break and fall off. Drain rings on paper towels and keep warm on a cookie sheet in the oven, on low, until all rings have been fried. Serves 4 nicely.